When it comes to getting help for psychological pain ex-services men and women are amongst the most excluded groups in Britain. By nature and by training they tend to be fiercely proud and independent.
On average, it takes 13 years from leaving the forces before ex-service men and women seek help. By then they have often left their partners, their children, their jobs - they may be drinking too much or even homeless. As I said, it takes a lot for someone from the services to ask for help.
If you feel stuck or you feel that you have issues that you want to discuss then please contact us - you deserve all the help you can ask for.
In battle we want people who can take pain, keep going and not complain relying on nobody but their comrades. These may be wonderful virtues in war but they are not appropriate to successful living outside of a war zone.
There is no need to be in pain and asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
We are being approached by men and women who have served in Britain’s wars as far back as the Korean conflict. They have carried too much pain for far too long.
We are being approached by wives who cannot bear to see the men they love living as they do.
The only professions who actually deal with such issues are the counsellors and psychotherapists - so we are offering our services at low cost. This is our gesture of thanks to you.
Actually No. For the most part the issues we deal with in Ex-services personnel are those that everybody else in the world has to deal with - relationship issues, depression, anxiety, loss, anger, addictions, alcoholism, sexuality, and a failure to thrive or to fit in. And yes, we also deal with the long-term effects of trauma, but this is not exclusively about trauma.
Therapy is about movement. In everyone’s life there are areas where we feel stuck - areas in which life is not working and we cannot find a way through. We feel lifeless and disappointed in ourselves. Therapy is about moving those obstacles and allowing life to flow again. It’s not about being bad or mad - it’s about moving on.
No. The work you do with your private therapist is confidential and does not appear on any government records.
If someone has had problems in the forces, then the MOD tends to help, but if problems emerge after someone rejoins the civilian world, then the proper channel is the NHS. True, the NHS is embracing ‘therapy’, but it’s hardly their forte. The skills to heal, or create meaning out of these issues belong with the therapists who are mostly in private practice or working in agencies like MIND.
For two reasons - the first is that it costs money to actually provide the service - the second is that people who pay get better results. You have to value this.
Evidence shows that the most important predictor of the success of any form of therapy is that you feel some confidence in the therapist - you feel understood and that there is a relationship between you. So shop around, talk to the therapist over the phone - ask them about themselves and how they work and how they charge. Go and see them - but if there is no chemistry there - find someone else.
The people on this page have all volunteered because either, they were at a meeting on the UKCP Chairs at which I gave a lecture or they read an article in September’s edition of ‘Self and Society’. There's more information on my website.
We have just begun and there has been no publicity but within a year we hope to have 500 + therapists listed. In the meantime please email me or call me on 07802 338773 and I will see what we can do.
Thank you, let’s talk. Please Get in Touch and send me your details or call me on 07802 338773
Therapists work under the ethics of their association - usually the United Kingdom Council of Psychotherapists UKCP or the BACP the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Ask your therapist which organisation he or she belongs to. These are the ones who have the power to handle complaints.
Right now it does not have a legal status because it’s merely a list of volunteers. However in early 2010 we plan to become a charity to do three things:
If you feel you can help in any way - please do not hesitate to contact me.
Martin Pollecoff (Chief Purser)
martin@thelongboathome.co.uk
The Long Boat Home would like to thank: James Antrican Richard Dening, Jane Rosoman, Michael Sclater, Alexandra Chalfont, Sally Forster, (the UKCP Political Action Group), and Marion Fitzpatrick of the Minster Centre - all for their encouragement, Maria Hayes for artwork and, Fiona Finlay and Omerli Cohen for their PR skills.